Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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