2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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