i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
