All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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