I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
