okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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