Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
