I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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