I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
then he tried to convert me to islam
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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