Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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