If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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