i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
