the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
