I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
