I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
