let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
