I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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