just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
