Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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