dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
