What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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