She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
