she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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