I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
