I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Someone shattered a urinal.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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