I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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