2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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