You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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