My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
