Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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