guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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