He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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