Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
