just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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