Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Farmville is her only friend.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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