i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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