why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
