Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
