I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize