I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
