i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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