you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
