Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
