I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
