wanna go halves on a baby?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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