Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I understand Curling. That high.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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