Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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