I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
