omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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