Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
