Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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