dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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