I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
