My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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