He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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