I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
