Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
