You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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