...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
