She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
