No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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