she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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