I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
