he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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